Sita Self-Immolates

Introduction: This story will be a new, very different version of the end of the Ramayana. It will begin from the moment Rama left the battle with Ravana. It will feature a much stronger female heroine and it will have a very different ending. An important note to keep in mind in my version is that Ravana did not suffer from any curse restricting his ability to touch unwilling women, including Sita.

     “He did what!?” I practically shouted at the poor attendant sent to inform me of Rama’s immediate return to his kingdom upon vanquishing Ravana. 

     “I’m s-sorry, ma’am,” stuttered the little man, “he was most anxious to reclaim his throne, seeing how the fourteen-year exile is ending soon.” 

     

     "Very well, I’ll make my way there myself," I muttered. “Bring me a chariot then. I’ll depart as soon as you can prepare me this.”

     As I traveled toward Ayodhya, I was a mixture of fury and gratitude. I couldn't believe my dear husband had worked so hard to find and free me, only to leave without so much as glimpsing at me. Luckily, the charioteer explained during the trip that my sweet Rama had been inclined to return to his kingdom due to his brother’s desperate state of mind—Rama worried he might end his own life! Of course, I immediately forgave my husband and spent the remainder of the trip in anxious excitement at the prospect of being reunited with my love. I felt very sure Rama would succeed in calming his brother as well.

     After a time I realized I was not in just any chariot, but rather the vimana of Indra himself! Suffice to say, the trip back was a very quick one indeed. We arrived at the city gates and I proudly exited the chariot. As I strode through the city streets toward the palace, I began to notice an uncomfortable air about the citizens. Darting glances, hushed whispers behind my back: all this greeted the return of the rightful king’s wife? I could not believe their disrespect, but it was of no import to me. "I’ll be with my Rama again soon, and none of these things shall matter any longer," I thought to myself.

     I entered the palace courtyard and nearly fainted with joy at the sight of my beloved husband!Finally, I would be able to move on and forget the wretched feel of the evil Ravana. I rushed toward his glorious embrace, filled to the brim with happiness at being reunited with him. Much to my surprise, however, Rama stepped back at my approach. I was shocked. His face was cold, shut off. I stood stock still, more confused than I had ever been in my life. "How can this be?" I wondered aloud.

     “It is improper for a woman who has been alone with another man to remain in the household of her husband. You may do as you wish, but you cannot stay here.” Rama’s words crushed me. I tried to offer a rebuttal, but only a faint whimper came out. My knees gave out and I sank to the ground. A cry of anguish escaped my lips. A rush of memories assailed me: the first time Ravana approached me, the last time--just before the battle began, and all the many times between. Every single time Ravana raped me  was burned into my memory. I shook my head, trying to clear my haunted thoughts.

     “You think I have forsaken you, my dear husband? Have you no faith in our love, the love that is known through all the heavens and the Earth?”

     “It would be impossible to believe such a beautiful woman had remained pure through such a long tribulation, I’m afraid.”

     “Not only have you held me to such an impossible standard—to avoid rape, being unwillingly touched by a man unwillingly, without an ounce of pleasure or love—but now you refuse to accept your loving, devoted wife even though you worked so hard to free her? I had no say in what was done with my body, husband of mine.”

Rama’s stoic expression made it clear to me that he would not reconsider. I immediately left the palace court. I would not be a victim—not again.

     It took many hours, days, weeks, and months of meditation, counsel, and self-reflection, but eventually I was able to live a happy life. I lived through the trials of Ravana imprisoning me, Rama’s judgment and ultimate rejection of me, and now it was time I live through something new, something good. It was at this point I met Ardhanaranari, who turned out to be the love of my life. Yes, yes, I know. I had said this once before. But Ardhanaranari taught me that love is not about being in eternal servitude; it is about equal love and respect. We take care of one another, and I have continued to enjoy my newly found hobbies. I enjoy reading stories of old, belly dancing, and I even continued my meditation—it’s great for dealing with the inevitable annoyances of living with a lover! Sometimes, I feel as if my new personality has lit my very soul on fire, almost as an offering to the gods...

Author’s Note: I had a lot of fun writing this story. If you can’t tell, I’m a feminist and this story for me represents the Sita I had been wishing for throughout the reading of the Ramayana. I still appreciate the epic as it is; it is a wonderful glimpse into the cultural and religious traditions of India. However, my feminist mind couldn't help recreating Sita as a stronger version of herself. I did try to convey her extreme devotion and original personality as much as possible in the recreated version. I also felt obligated to address the issue of rape in the story, as the manner in which this was handled in the original version really bothered me. I strongly believe it is important to address these issues in our media, and not continue to sugarcoat the issues as our society often does. I guess this is my little contribution to that movement. I only used one source other than the Ramayana; that was Wikipedia. I was initially searching for an androgynous traditional Indian name. I ended up finding this name because it is the name of a particular incarnation of Shiva—one which was half male and half female. I chose this particular name—among several choices—because it was the most neutral in meaning, in my opinion. I liked the idea of Sita’s new partner’s sex and gender remaining unknown. I prefer to let my readers make their own choice, if they wish. I pinned a couple things to my Pinterest board, which is here, in regards to androgyny in case anyone is interested! I chose the image below because it makes me think of Sita with a great sage, who I imagine could have been helpful to her after her trials with Ravana and Rama. In reality, the image actually shows Menaka and Visvamitra, but I chose to interpret the picture differently to fit my story. I chose this title because of Sita's final thought in my version, which is also a throwback to the original.

(Image from Wikimedia)

Bibliography:

Narayan, R.K. (1972) The Ramayana

“Ardhanarishvara.” Website: Wikipedia 
"Vimana." Website: Wikipedia