Week Nine: Famous Last Words

So it is the Sunday before class starts back again, and I am panicking. I have reading to do for my Jews and Other Germans class, we will be discussing the upcoming group presentations tomorrow in class, I have a presentation to give in French for my French Phonetics class tomorrow—I have not even began researching my topic, I have two reading assignments and a project due Wednesday for my Teaching Foreign Languages class, and in my French Film class I have to write a short report over the movie we watched. I am so stressed!

However, I did have a good time at home. My dad and stepmom were in Ireland for Saint Patrick’s Day, so I did not see them. I did get to see my stepmom’s mom, my younger brother and sister, my older sister and her fiancé, and my mom and stepdad! My boyfriend and I took my little sister to Alabaster Caverns, which is about 40 minutes from where all of my parents live. It was a good trip! We went hiking and found the entrance to a water cave. We peaked inside and saw an old cot, which was a big surprise! It was really pretty and sunny outside, too. Going into the cave was a bit of a shock because it was so cold. We got a lot of cool pictures of the rocks and even some of the bats.

Everybody also got together for a bar-be-que which was a lot of fun. My boyfriend cooked Korean ribs and chicken stuffed with cheese and my stepmom’s mom cooked corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, and brownies! It was a really good meal and we had a lot of fun with everybody together. Our last night there, my boyfriend and I took my younger siblings bowling so we could get some time away from the crowd with them. They are ten and sixteen, which seems young but they are both growing up so much! They used to fight constantly but in the last year they have really bonded and grown to care about each other more. They are a lot easier to be around when they aren’t bickering constantly!

(Personal photo of myself and my younger sister, outside the entrance to a water cave at Alabaster Caverns State Park)

Week Nine: Storytelling: A Widow, to Be or Not to Be?

My husband has died. Died. He is actually dead... I cannot wrap my mind around this. I cannot accept this. I do not know how to go on. My entire identity is intrinsically tied to his. I am a wife before I am anything else. My life was completely centered around him. He was my rock, my anchor. Now I feel lost. I am drifting aimlessly. What am I, if not the wife of Pandu?

Oh, no. It cannot be. I cannot even bring myself to think the wretched word, let alone say it aloud. Let alone identify with it. I refuse. I will not be pitied in such a way. I will not be that lonely woman. I will not be that sad woman. I will not be the woman without any purpose in life. I cannot stand the thought of it. I must do something about this.

Pandu is dead? I still cannot believe it. I was sure he would live forever, or close to it. I never thought much about what I would do were I to be relieved of my duties as a wife. Now that the opportunities presented itself, I cannot suppress the giddy excitement building up inside me. 

Oh, but this will not do. The poor man had not even went through his funeral rights yet. I shall have to maintain a respectful disposition until it is all over and done with. He was a fair husband, after all. 

At the funeral, I make my decision. My life has been dedicated to Pandu. What worth is there in a life that has lost all meaning? There is none. That is why I have decided to ascend the funeral pyre. I shall die with dignity. I will not be remembered as the pathetic widow.

I am standing in the crowd trying not to fidget. I am anxious to start my new life, even as I watch my old one literally go up in flames before me. What is that? I see someone going up the funeral pyre. They must be mad! It is Madri? Oh, my. I suppose I should have expected this. She always was such a loyal wife to Pandu and a very considerate co-wife, as well. I will miss her.

After the ceremony ended, I began to travel. I went wherever I pleased. I discovered new lands. I swam in the sea. I knew men other than Pandu. I experienced joy and freedom at such levels which I thought only existed in dreams. I hope to remain forevermore a widow.

Author's Note: I choose to do this sorry because I am both fascinated and horrified by the tradition of killing oneself over a significant other. In Indian culture it was sometimes not only accepted but even expected today a wife ascend the funeral pyre of her husband! And in western society, we idolize stories like Romeo and Juliet, a case of a double suicide over "love at first sight." I wanted to do this story because I wanted to try to make both characters more relatable. I wanted rafts to understand that Madri truly couldn't imagine life without her husband, while Kunti felt she had a whole new lease on life. I choose the image below because it is how I pictured Kunti on the beach, after the funeral had passed. It is not actually am image of Kunti, but it is how I pictured her.

Bibliography: Narayan, R.K. (1978). The Mahabharata.

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Week Nine: Reading Diary B: The Gambling Story

I am going to discuss the dice game because it is the most ridiculous part of the reading for today, in my humble opinion. I cannot believe that moron gambled away all of his ridiculous wealth over a stupid game. But I want to know why the hell his brothers did not intervene!? I would NOT stand by and watch my sibling throw away all of the SHARED wealth within my family, let alone my own freedom and that of my wife! What kind of person just stands by and watches this? And also, how is it fair for one man to roll the dice whilst another gains the winnings? Why was this not argued? It was a pretty obvious trap from my point of view! It was cool that the wife was protected from the disgusting men trying to undress her, though. I did actually like that part. Personally though, I would have left his ass if my husband did that. I liked how she was smart enough to argue that her husband no longer had the right to bet her freedom, since he had already lost his own. She was smart, even though they ignored her. I chose the image below because the queen looks serene, as if she has so much faith in her protector that she is not even disgruntled by her present situation, plus she looks pretty!

(Image taken from Yessy)

Week Nine: Reading Diary A: Beginning A New Epic

So my favorite part of this reading was the beginning, even though it was completely insane when I first began reading it. It was interesting because I was at a complete loss as to why the mother—aka the Ganga river/goddess—was killing her children so coldly. Though we now have most of that explained, I still wonder at how the father managed to remain silent throughout the first seven deaths. I cannot even imagine the pain of losing one child, let alone seven, and to their own mother, no less. That is a type of pain I simply cannot imagine. I wonder how he continued to love his wife in spite of all of this. I would think we would grow to hate and resent her for not only having killed seven out of their eight children, but then simply leaving him after he finally questioned her! Even though she was there only to serve a purpose, he had no way of knowing all of this and had surely come to care for his wife deeply over the years. (Image Information)